Hello you beautiful souls! I’m a big believer is personal growth and self-improvement. We’re always evolving and becoming more of who we really are. However, it isn’t all sunshine and rainbows whether we’re speaking about a physical glow up or a mental one. So here are 7 things they don’t tell you about self-improvement.

7 Things They Don’t Tell You About Self-Improvement

Different Starting Points

We all have different starting points. It’s that saying, ‘we’re all on the same sea but in different boats’ and it applies here as well. Some are starting from the very basics because unfortunately they didn’t have a foundation growing up. Or the foundation wasn’t healthy for them and they weren’t taught the basics. When I say basics I mean things such as: hygiene, boundaries, how to save or how to prepare a healthy meal for themselves. We’re all in different boats, hence being kind is important because we don’t know people’s life story. Anyway, when you’re on your self-improvement or glow up journey don’t get annoyed or upset when your favourite influencer leveled up in 2 months. Your starting points were different and the resources available to them were plentiful. This isn’t to discourage you but things into perspective so you know where you are and where you want to go.

One Size Doesn’t Fit All

Take a deep breath and let these words sink in, what works for her/him/them won’t necessarily work for you. In Trinidad we have a saying, Seepaul luck is not Gopaul luck. So, just because that person went to the gym 5 days a week, did the calorie counting and have a flat flat tummy. Or, they posted to Tiktok or Instagram everyday for 30 days and went viral now they’re buying their dream house. This doesn’t mean it will work for your particular needs. This is why you need to know your ‘why’. Why do you want the job, the money, the house, body, car or whatever it is you’re doing this all for. Once you know your why, you can then look at what will work for you. For instance, I’m not a morning person however I want to exercise because it makes me feel good and does wonders for my body. So the choice I’ve made is to get up early and workout otherwise it won’t get done. For you, you may choose to workout on your lunch break because there’s a gym nearby. Be inspired by others but make it your own and do what works for you.

Don’t Rely on Motivation

Waking up at 6am or some days 5am to workout in the depths of winter is not my idea of fun. Nor, is sitting down to do a monthly budget however, I know these things will help me. On the days I don’t feel like it or even want to do it, I don’t dig deep for motivation. Nope! Motivation is as fleeting as the spring weather we’ve been experiencing. I rely on discipline. How? I build it like a muscle. In the beginning when you feel the motivation, you do the things and build momentum. So, I keep going despite how I feel because the reality is, how I feel in the moment will pale in comparison to how I’ll feel if I don’t do it. Throw a mini tantrum in your head about how you don’t want to do it, let your inner child have it’s moment. Then, be the adult because you can see the goal you’re working towards. So whilst that extra £50 might be good to spend on a pair of shoes, is that going to get you closer to what you desire?

It’s a Mental Job

The previous point leads me nicely to this one, it’s a mental job. The discipline, goal setting, taking action, shifting perspectives. Growth overall is an inside job because that’s where it starts. You see what you desire and that lights a fire inside of you. All decisions you choose to make come from inside of you. The self-talk; positive or negative is all you boo. My tip is to journal your thoughts and then read them to see what you really think about yourself. Read it from the perspective of you reading what your best friend has written about themselves. What would you say to them? Wouldn’t you lift them up and encourage them to not give up? To know that they’re worthy of all they desire? Okay, now start telling yourself that please and thanks.

Give Yourself Permission

This is something else they don’t tell you. You need to give yourself permission to glow up, grow and be more of you. Why? Because if you don’t who else will? We need to say it’s okay to ourselves to transform and learn. Say thank you and goodbye to the previous version of yourself who got you to this point. Thank them for keeping you safe and that’s okay to move on.

It Costs Money

You know that line from Pure/Honey by Beyonce that goes, ‘It should cost a billion to look this good‘? Well it may not cost you a billion but it will cost money (and time). Those skin treatments that you want or need? Well that’ll cost you money. Taking classes on how to dress with your colours or learning a new language. They cost money. This doesn’t mean you can’t do it. You need to budget for what you want and also utilise any and all free resources. YouTube has a wealth of information and if you’re lucky enough to have a library, join one and read books on all the topics that interest you. Some people learn differently and reading might work better than videos and vice versa.

Be Prepared for the Lack of Support

My final point is to be prepared to lose people along the way of your self-development. Not everyone will be happy to see you thrive and grow. It’s a sad but reality of life which has nothing to do with you. It’s actually something within themselves that they need to work on. Some will cheer you on when you lose the 2 kgs for example. Or, that you completed the short course in marketing which led you to getting a slight raise in your salary. But, see how they react when you decide to do a full certification or degree which leads to a higher job title and more money than them. Or, you committed to clearing up your skin and suddenly you’re getting attention with compliments. Look out for the little off-handed comments and expressions. They’ll tell you all you need to know and you will know how to move.

Now that you know these are the 7 things they don’t tell you about self-improvement, you’re prepared. Glow up and live your best life in the way that you’re meant to for you. No one else. Is there anything else that I’ve missed out? Let me know in the comments below.

As always, thank you for reading and commenting. Until next time, be well! X